


the fall of the lost

by veeping



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Letters, Or the lack thereof, Suicidal Thoughts, kind of, mention of burials, not the fever code compilant, paradise freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 03:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16297079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veeping/pseuds/veeping
Summary: A letter from Minho to Thomas, post-The Death Cure





	the fall of the lost

**Author's Note:**

> why hello there. i haven't written anything in ages and this is my first time posting something here. be kind to me.  
> not beta'd and english is not my native language.

Thomas,

I wish I could give you the answers that you need. I wish I could tell you the words that you want to hear. I wish I could help you to let go, to move on. I wish I could drag you out of this dark place you found yourself in. I wish I could be the friend that you need right now.

But I can‘t help you. Truth is, I can‘t even help myself. You can‘t see it, but we‘re all suffering. We‘ve all lost people, not only you. We all have demons hiding in our heads. I don‘t blame you for not seeing. You‘re grieving. Our friends, our family. The person you had to kill. The part of you that died with him.

I want to hate you sometimes.  
Part of me wants to blame you. You‘ve always had the tendency to drag us into your messes. Your half-assed plans, your hot-headedness. Your ignorance when it comes to those around you. Your guilt complex for things you had no control over. But we all had to go down a dark road to survive, and you did your best.  
You‘re a good person, Thomas. You have flaws, but we all have them.

We owe you our lives.  
You were a good leader. You got us out after all, right? I know you feel guilty about not having saved more of us. There‘s only a handful of us left, and not even that many. Could there have been things you could have done differently? Could have more of us survived if you had tried harder? I don‘t know. I‘ve been asking myself the same questions over and over again and I haven‘t found an answer yet. I‘m not sure there‘s a point in obsessing over it. I‘m trying to let go of what happened and see it as it is: The past. We can‘t change what happened. The dead are exactly that. Dead.

It‘s funny but I have buried a lot of friends during our time in the maze. I loved them.  
Stephen, Nick, George. Remind me to tell you about them sometime.  
But losing them doesn‘t compare to those we have lost and couldn‘t bury. Putting their bodies into the earth gave me the closure I always needed, but we never had the chance to recover anyone after the maze, haven‘t we. The uncertainty of what happened to their bodies haunts me at night. I wish we had the opportunity to go back and bury them. Give them the rest they deserved. 

I think Gally buried Chuck. Or burned his body. I don‘t think he would have been able to live with himself if he hadn‘t. 

I wouldn‘t. 

~~Why did you leave Newt in that ditch after you killed him~~

I don‘t know if it will get easier. If it will hurt any less with time. I hope it does.

Right now I don‘t see an end to this pain. We‘re damaged from what happened to us. The things we were forced to do, the horrors we‘ve seen. I don‘t know if there‘s recovery from that.

We‘re so young, Thomas. Is there really a future for us out there? 

Where can we go? What can we do? 

Do we even deserve to keep going?

I know you think you don‘t.

I don‘t know if I do either.

This isn‘t a goodbye. Not yet anyways.

Find me when you‘re ready.  
I don‘t mind sitting in silence. I can‘t bear anything else right now anyways.

Minho

**Author's Note:**

> there's trauma to unpack with those guys.  
> I'll be back with that. I hope.
> 
> you can find me on tumblr: minewt.tumblr.com


End file.
